Amy Gilley Bearman
Success is going from failure to failure without a loss of enthusiasm. -Winston Churchill
my sleeping bear
notes on mothering while my little one napsMYSLEEPINGBEAR.COM
First Name Basis
I've always thought it was especially cute and funny for a small child to refer to his or her parents by their first names. Harper Lee romanticized it so sweetly in To Kill A Mockingbird with Scout and Jem calling their distinguished father Atticus. Bart Simpson blurting out "Homer!" always makes me crack a smile. Recently, my friend Rachel's three year-old meekly uttered "Rachel?" at dinner to get her mother's attention during conversation. "Did she just call you Rachel?" I asked. Adorable.
Why then did my heart sink and my pulse quicken when my 19 month-old came running down the hall looking for me calling, "Amy! Amy!" during our vacation in Florida last week? I had to fight the urge to correct him and snap at the family members who were there chuckling. In that same moment I wanted to ask my 12 year-old niece, Camille, who followed closely behind him, "Did you teach him this? Do you think this is funny? This is NOT funny! Did you set this up as a joke?" This all ran through my mind for a moment but, telling myself to be cool, I just scooped him up in my arms and said, "Mama's right here."
What I was feeling was somewhere between not wanting my little darling to grow up and fearing that my identity as his mother was threatened or in question. I'm your mama, you need me, and I'm right here.
By the end of the day, I began to get my sense of humor back. In every action it was clear that no matter what I am called, our bond is strong.
So I've been known as Amy for a good week and a half now. He's still calling my husband/his father Papa, so we joke that people will naturally assume I'm the child's step-mother or the new girlfriend. Funny.
Why then did my heart sink and my pulse quicken when my 19 month-old came running down the hall looking for me calling, "Amy! Amy!" during our vacation in Florida last week? I had to fight the urge to correct him and snap at the family members who were there chuckling. In that same moment I wanted to ask my 12 year-old niece, Camille, who followed closely behind him, "Did you teach him this? Do you think this is funny? This is NOT funny! Did you set this up as a joke?" This all ran through my mind for a moment but, telling myself to be cool, I just scooped him up in my arms and said, "Mama's right here."
What I was feeling was somewhere between not wanting my little darling to grow up and fearing that my identity as his mother was threatened or in question. I'm your mama, you need me, and I'm right here.
By the end of the day, I began to get my sense of humor back. In every action it was clear that no matter what I am called, our bond is strong.
So I've been known as Amy for a good week and a half now. He's still calling my husband/his father Papa, so we joke that people will naturally assume I'm the child's step-mother or the new girlfriend. Funny.
